When Everything Seems to Mean Something

Ever been through one of those points in your life where every song lyric is brilliantly poignant to your own situation? “How did he know? That’s exactly how I feel, what I’m going through.” Every movie’s hidden messages of redemption, loss, love, brushing your teeth in the morning, is speaking out to you. Where life revolves around your problems, or at least since they're constantly in your head, while not even thinking directly about them, they pop up in the strangest ways, when you least want them. But then, when the problems fade and the world changes and starts to look brighter, even that seems to be reflected in the world at large.

It’s been a couple of weeks like that for me. I couldn't count the number of song lyrics I’ve written down in my journal and scraps of paper lately.

“Maybe there is a God above,
But all I’ve leaned of love
Was how to shoot someone that outdrew me

And it’s not a cry that you hear in the night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah”
- Jeff Buckley

“Breaking and rebuilding and we’re growing,
Always guessing, never knowing.
It’s shocking, but we’re nothing,
We’re just moments
We’re clever but we’re clueless
We’re just human, amusing and confusing
Trying, but where is this all leading?
We’ll never know.”
- Jack Johnson

“I will carry on, bury all, bury all, bury all.”
“… the notion that I don’t need anyone but me,
Don’t drink the water!”
- Dave Matthews

“You’ve made me smile again,
In fact I may be sore from it,
It’s been a while.”
- Ben Folds

“If revolution had a movie, I’d be theme music.”
- Common
(Ok, this one, I just love the line, but not necessarily as it applies to me. Common is great. Saw this interview with him in Elle just yesterday, not sure he’s all the message MC he used to be, but still got respect.)

I could go on, but where would we end up? I’d just be the Pandora radio of music quotes, and not even the best I’m sure.

Been here in Niamey for just over two weeks now. I hadn’t really wanted to stay here so long, but I think it’s a good thing I am here. I needed to see some American friends to unload on. My Nigerien and Nigerian (From Niger and Nigeria respectively) just see relationships in a totally different light than we do in the US. Here, especially in Niger, relationships between a man and a women usually jumped straight from “hey there” to marriage since ‘dating’ isn’t really an approved of thing, at least outside of the cities. If you like a girl and want her as a wife, you go talk to her parents and settle on a price and then, if you all agree, she’s to be your wife.
Thus, it’s not really that marriage is about love, more so about convenience and first impressions… and money of course. In Nigeria, they like to think that love has more to do with it, for sure ‘dating’ and relationships are a little more western, or maybe it’s a little more Christian juxtaposed to the Islam. Whatever it is, people are more likely to have it casual there for a while, but even that… well it’s a West African thing that women are for having a kids, cooking and cleaning. Of course, you want a woman that you like and who is good at pleasing you, but really as it boils down to the essentials, love is the first thing boiled off. There is love here, no doubt, but it’s not integrally tied up in the institution of marriage as we see it. Though, even in the US we romanticize love and marriage to the point where we forget that they are separate entities.

But I digress….

I wanted to say that I had to escape the African view of women and relationships for a while. Most all my African friends kept saying, “She’s with someone else, that’s why she broke up with you,” “Leave her, she’s no good if she can’t please her man.” Really though, there were two guys (Nigerians) who fielded very open minded opinions about her need for space and love finding a way and things going as they should in the long run. I was quite impressed, yet another example of how Africa is at a cross-roads of ideas and customs. The globalization of media has really meant a huge impact on the way people in the developing world see the world since it’s mostly western ideas on TV and the radio. At least here in West Africa. There’s local media, there’s Nollywood – the film industry in Nigeria – But even that takes large cues from the stories of Hollywood and the west, Bollywood too is a huge influence, so you get most movies being about love overcoming obstacles or good triumphing over evil, movies spouting their ideals, but real life still, for the most part, clinging to the traditional views.
It’s nice to see when the two, media and traditional viewpoints, coincide rather than combat. For example, I’m reading Things Fall Apart right now. A contemporary book, but written very much like an Africa fable is told. Not so far into it yet, but really interested.

Have I lost you yet?

Problem with writing on the fly without somewhere to go.
But if you’re game, let’s press on.

Was talking to my friend Mary the other day about a very similar subject: the diversity of influence on American culture. We were saying how the greatest thing about American culture is it’s vastness and depth, it’s innumerable foreign and domestic influences, all meeting and melding into the greatest cultural stream that the world has seen. Black, White, Chicano, Indian, Native American, Irish, German, Protestant Catholic, Conservative, Liberal… Like I said, one could make an infinitely long list of adjectives to describe the actors of social influence within American society. – or I could just say, People of all colors and creeds have had input and influence on what is now “American Culture.” This is an amazing thing.
It’s also an amazing thing to see a different culture and a different world view. Living in Africa the last (almost) two years has really opened my eyes to the way culture is different in different areas, but really not all that different in the end. All cultures hold many of the same values, respect, family, hard work, as important and so have commonalities. This new age of global media and information though is having a similar effect on other countries that the US’s history of immigration had on it. Cultures are starting to mix more and more, blending in places where it would never have ten years ago even. My buddy, Illiasou, the other day in Gaya showed me, on his cell phone, the Google search he had just done to learn about the Obama’s, he was especially interested in their new dog. And really, Obama has become, I think the first president to REALLY, TRULY, be an international figure. Everyone knows about him and, while that obviously has something to do with his personality and charisma, I think it has just as much to do with the globalization of culture, being that the US is still (for now) the cultural power house of the world, people hear about US the most.

Culture – A society’s set of norms, traditions, and values.

But also influence and information I think.

The world is changing, it’s always been changing of course, but it seems to be going faster and faster, spinning with increased anxiousness. Instant communication between any two points. A straight line is no longer the shortest distance between two points. This ease and quickness of cultural exchange can’t help but increase the rate at which the world changes. For now it continues to be a top down influence of media dispersing dominant culture around the world, but even that is changing. TV like Al-Jazira (actually a very good news station if you give it a chance) or radio like BBC Haoussa are giving voices to people not usually associated with the mainstream. Internet will do this even more and even faster as it starts to become more globally available.

In my point of view this is all a good thing. Just like the immigration history of the US has produced a culture that has so many and varied influences, the chance to have cultures around the world broadcast themselves can only but help diversify the world. A person in the US can now read a Peace Corps blog from Malawi and understand more of the culture there. They could also read a blog written by a Malawian and understand even better that culture. And it’s all at their fingertips. The globalization of information gives the smaller voices a chance to be heard along side the bigger voices. Bigger voices still have the power of top-down information decimation, especially where people are reliant on radio/TV as apposed to the internet, but as information and culture exchange shifts more with the technology available, we’re gonna see greater and greater power for the small voices and that will help diversify culture and maintain culture in areas where big voices are in danger of imposing their weight and changing it.

Well, anyway... that's enough rambling, maybe I should organize my thoughts more next time.

Last weekend was my 26th Birthday and to celebrate I went out with some friends, had a steak dinner. Good times.

People have been requesting some videos of life here, speaking of cultural exchange over new media, so here are a couple I just uploaded to facebook (so painfully slow):

The present Is too much for the senses, Too crowding, too confusing - Too present to imagine.

Was introduced to the wonder that is Robert Frost. I mean, who hasn't heard of Frost before, but for most people, as it had been for me, it's "The Path Less Chosen." Last night I got to read through a large collection of his poems thanks to Mary's enormous, well thumbed-through book. Some notable poems I ran across are below, they range from large and life-pondering to 'hey, that's what it is like when it rains here also!' Enjoy.

I WILL SING YOU ONE-O

It was long I lay
Awake that night
Wishing the tower
Would name the hour
And tell me whether
To call it day
(Though not yet light)
And give up sleep.
The snow fell deep
With the hiss of spray;
Two winds would meet,
One down one street,
One down another,
And fight in a smother
Of dust and feather,
I could not say,
but feared the cold
Had checked the pace
Of the tower clock
By tying together
Its hands of gold
Before its face.

The came one knock!
A note unruffled
Of earthly weather,
Though strange and muffled.
The tower said, "One!"
And then a steeple.
They spole to themselves
And such few people
As winds might rouse
From sleeping warm
(But not unhouse).
They left the storm
The struck en masse
Like a beaded fur.

In that grave One
They spoke of the sun
And moon and stars,
Saturn and Mars
And Jupiter.
Still unfettered,
They left the named
And spoke of the lettered,
The sigmas and taus
Of constellations.
They filled their throats
With the furthest bodies
To which man sends his
Speculation,
Beyond which God is;
The cosmic motes
Of yawning lenses.
Their solemn peals
Were not their own:
They spoke for the clock
With whose vast wheels
Theirs interlock.
In that grave word
Uttered alone
The utmost star
Trembled and stirred,
Though set so far
Its whirlnig frenzies
Appear like standing
In one self station.
It has not ranged,
And save for the wonder
Of once expanding
To be a nova.
It has not changed
To the eye of man
On planets over,
Around, and under
It in creation
Since man began
To drag down man
And nation nation.

DEVOTION

The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to the ocean-
Holding the curve of one position,
Counting an endless repetition.

CARPE DIEM

Age saw two quiet children
Go loving by at twilight,
He knew not whether homeward,
Or outward from the village,
Or (chimes were ringing) churchward.
He waited (they were strangers)
Till they were out of hearing
To bid them both be happy,
"Be happy, happy, happy
And seize the day of pleasure."
The age-long theme is Age's.
'Twas Age imposed on poems
Their gather-roses burden
To warn against the danger
That overtaken lovers
From being overflooded
With happiness should have it
And yet not know they have it.
But bid life seize the present?
It lives less in the present
Than in the future always,
And less in both together
Than in the past. The present
Is too much for the senses,
Too crowding, too confusing -
Too present to imagine.

SAND DUNES

Sea waves are green and wet,
But up from where they die
Rise others vaster yet,
And those are brown and dry.

They are the sea made land
To come at the fisher town
And bury in solid sand
The men she could not drown.

She may know cove and cape,
But she does not know mankind
If by any change of shape
She hopes to cut off mind.

Men left her a ship to sink:
They can leave her a hut as well;
And be but more free to think
For the one more cast-off shell

THE FLOOD

Blod has been harder to dam back than water.
Just when we think we have it impounded safe
Behind new barrier walls (and let it chafe!),
It breaks away in some new kind of slaughter.
We choose to say it is let loose by the devil;
But power of blood itself releases blood.
It goes by might of being such a flood
Held high at so unnatural a level.
It will have outlet, brave and not so brave.
Weapons of war and implements of peace
Are but the points at which it finds release.
And now it is once more the tidal wave
That when it has swept by, leaves summits stained.
Oh, blood will out. It cannot be contained.

IN TIME OF CLOUDBURST

Let the downpour roil and toil!
The worst it can do to me
Is carry some garden soil
A little nearer the sea.

'Tis the world-old way of rain
When it comes to a mountain farm
To exact for a present gain
A little of future harm.

And the harm is none too sure,
For when all that was rotted rich
Shall be in the end scoured poor,
When my garden has gone down ditch,

Some force has but to apply,
And summits shall be immersed,
The bottom of seas raised dry-
The slope of the earth reversed.

Then all I need do is run
To the other end of the slope,
And on tracts laid new to the sun,
Begin all over to hope.

Some worn old tool of my own
Will be turned up by the plow,
The wood of it changed to stone,
But as ready to wield as now.

May my application so close
To so endless repetition
Not make me tired and morose
And resentful of man's condition.

Life or something like it

It's hot season once again. Fun. I'm also single once again. Fun. Which is worse? Well, I'm gonna have to say that's a toss up, at least breaking up doesn't give me heat rash. Just heartburn... :)

Anyway, it's not that big of a thing. She needs space to think things over and what better time to get space than when we're already thousands of miles apart? If it's meant to be and a strong enough love is there then things will be fine in the end. Sometimes you have to let the things you love go and see if they will come back. Can't say as I blame her for it, we've not had the easiest relationship and should it work in the end, this will just be another brick building up our foundation.

But hot season.... now, THAT ain't never gonna change. Glad I can pick up and run from it eventually. Been about 110 everyday for a couple of weeks now. Sweating all day long, trouble sleeping at night for soaked sheets. To be honest, the worst is yet to come temperature wise, it's just the humidity in Gaya these days that's killing me, as the temperatures rise that will die down a bit, until the rains come that is, and then.... well each season is special in it's own way let's say.

But really, regardless of everything that seems to be going bad for me right now (and it's been a hard couple of weeks for sure), god, as they say, works in mysterious ways, and I am in a certain sense glad to still be in Niger. It's sure that the projects I would have been close to 'finishing' would have been a last minute PAIN, since even till now I don't have all the community contribution required for the books. Asking for Nigeriens to give money is like pulling crocodile teeth.



I have a chance to now do some more traveling around the country, visiting other volunteers and seeing their villages. In fact, I'm off to my good buddy Josh's village on Sunday for a week-long visit. Tomorrow I'm visiting Mary and cheering on kids in a soccer tournament she organized for her commune. After Easter, it's back to Gaya for a couple weeks, then I hope to travel East for most of the month of May, seeing places where I don't speak the language (hausa), maybe will learn some while out there. Then in June I have a conference in Niamey on closing up our service. After that, well we'll be playing that one by ear, or heart, to see what happens next.

I forgot to bring my long hoped to be publish rant on African development to Niamey with me, so that will have to wait for another day, but I would like to relate a little bit about what I've been up to in this, maybe futile, attempt to help Niger develop.

STUDENT GOVERNMENT-

It's been a smashing success. People have loved it. We had radio coverage of the elections and other school directors have been asking when we can get them tried so they can start governments in their own schools.

And best of all, I didn't even really do that much. I put a lot of effort into the conference in Niamey last year, and had a couple of people from Gaya trained on impletementing student governments. MY counterpart Seidou has been amazing and after a brief hiatus for christmas travels, I came back and within two weeks we had a conference with the directors, teachers, and students' parents from two of our local primary schools. After the two day (two morning) training, the directors took it all on themselvs to organize the elections, even seeking out funding for materials from one of our local NGOs that works on human rights, especially those of women and children, so it fit great with their goals as well.

It has seriously been the highlight of my service to see these schools and my community pull together to accomplish something like that without relying on me or some big international NGO. That's very encouraging and the type of thing that PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) should be focusing on, but it's all too easy to get caught up in 'hey my village needs this, let's find money!' I mean so many things DO require money and we know how to find it better than many Nigeriens, it's just well, money corrupts. But that's my whole thesis, so I'll develop it more later and instead talk about....

I have a giving the pictures here captions to help tell the story of the elections, you may find it interesting.




THE BOOKS

Still waiting on, yep that's right, the devil - MONEY. The community contriubtion side for this project runs like this: 25% has to be provided by the community. And so for this project, the remaining books (after the initial two schools took their earned shares) were divided into 44 book lots, one available to each of the 16 CEGs in the Gaya commune for a total contribution in their price of 40,000CFA, about $80. I figured that's a small price to pay for such a benefit (and it is), but getting people here to value education, especially ENGLISH education to the point of putting up money has been a challenge. Some communities jumped at the chance and had the money to me in a couple days, others just had the 'if god wants it, he'll drop the money from heaven into our director's hands, cause we sure as ain't paying that' attitude. Sad, but true. Some people just don't put any value on education, it's not perceived as having much value when, most likely, you'll end up planting and cutting millet, even merchants who need to read and write, do math, only need a primary level education. What good is English then?

Well, let's see, how about doing business in an English speaking country. Nigeria, Ghana, ever heard of them, they're the two biggest west african economies, you think maybe you would want to have the ability to do business there. How about, going to high school or university? Both REQUIRE you to pass the english part on entrance exams. Well, whatever, doesn't ring a bell for some people.

FRUSTRATION

It's the name of the game as of late. Maybe it's my personal troubles, the heat, or something I ate, but sometimes I just want to burn this whole damn country to the ground. There are so many just uneducated and clueless people. And the food... :(

But then invariably I will have a conversation with someone in zarma and see that light in their eyes go on when I describe something NEW and DIFFERENT to them, and I know that a new connection was just made. Or I see a cute kid, like the beggar kids who hang outside my house. The greet me home like puppies, running up, yelping "ca va", not always welcome, but seeing this one girl smile everytime I see her breaks my heart; to know that there's nothing I can do to change where she is and how, in many ways her life is already laid out for her. It's a smile of such innocence and beauty, how can it exist on a girl who has to beg for food? (though they get fed pretty well since setting up shop outside my house and just across the street from the mosque, helps also to have the good shade from the trees there)



There's always something, even in my most 'I hate Niger' moods to put a smile on my face, unfortunately it's also true that the constant 'Nigerienness' of some people do nothing but wear me down. I refer to the DAILY and REPEATED episodes such as (translated from zarma of course):

Kid: "Hey white man, white man, hey look over here!!! White man!!!!!!"


Man: "Hey, how's the wife?"
Me: "I have no wife, I'm too young"
Man: "Well, I'll bring you a wife. A nice young girl, you know *wink*. She'll help you with all your 'work' *wink* Come on you need a nigerien girl to marry. I'll go get one right now."
Me: "no, really that's fine. Ha ha ha *laughing so he'll stop, joke's done*
Man: "How about I bring her by tonight?"
Me: "Thanks, but that's fine, I have a girl back home, I can only have one"
Man: "Oh, you can have one there AND one here. She'll never know..."
AND so on and so forth....


Me: "How much for the shirt?"
Merchant: "5000CFA" - that's like 20 times the price it should be
Me: "Really, you know I live here, what's the real price."
Man: "That is the price. Ok, how about 2500, you're white you can pay that."
Me: "Nope, goodbye."
I make a point of NEVER buying from these types, just the ones who offer a resonable first price


Director of CEG I, the bad side of Niger: "We need more tables, find us some tables, we need your help."
Me: Thinking 'Yeah and I bet you already got money to fix the ones you have, but spent it on beer and prostitutes', though saying "Yeah, I would if I could, but like I tell you EVER time, I don't have money."
Director: "But you know people who do right....?"

*SIGH*


So Niger is wearing on me, but like I said, there's always a bright spot if you keep your eyes open, mostly the smile of a child or the kindness of a complete stranger on a bus, the things that I love about Niger. Just like in life everywhere else, joy is often hidden in the silver linings of a cloudy situation. Kala Suru.

Enough for now, I don't want to be so negative in my writings, but you go where the flow takes you sometimes.

I'm happy (and incredibly sad) to be here still, and we take life one day at a time, and try to do good things for those we can, and really THAT is a very nigerien sentiment and one we should all be able to take to heart.


Check out my new pictures of Gaya, student government elections on Picasa. Until the next time.

P.S. WILLIAM COBOS - For God's sake leave me your email address next time so I can get back to you! What good is it to start a blog so we can communicate if I can't even write on it or send you an email!!! But I like the name you gave it.

And yet again another change of schedule

From Early 2009 Randomness

First off, Happy Birthday Vicky since you're sitting in the room here and all. P.S. subscribe to my blog and make me more web-popular.

So then, after writing a bunch about leaving Niger turns out I'm not leaving after all. I won't get too much into the details, but the potential teaching job in Kuwait fell through and Kelsey thought that it would be best if we just stayed where we were for now and meet up in the US in June.

And William J. says hello (you can find a link to his amazing Niger blog to the right)

From Early 2009 Randomness

So I'll be here in Niger until June. Just wanted to let all y'all know.

So that means you can feel free to once again send me care packages! Or now would be a great time to start!

Just came back from FESPACO, the biggest film festival (only film festival?) in west africa. It was in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. What an AMAZING city. It looked like a REAL city. Irikoy Beri! And they have PAVED streets, and STOP LIGHTS, and a BOWLING ALLEY, and people spoke FRENCH!!!!!!! There was pork! And of course movie theaters, although the number of theaters in Ouaga has fallen from 30 to 10 in the last ten years, sad fact for the film industry of Africa. But we had a grand ol' time, me, Vicky, Will, Josh, and JT. Good food, good drinks (Ginger Rhum, various home-made wines such as bissap, baobab, date and other varieties).

Don't really feel like writing a bunch tonight, just to let you all know I'm not leaving so please send me goodies to help get through hot season (M&Ms, gatorade packets, anything americanized that will last through the mail)

Still want to post my long rant about development which is written out, but waiting for me to feel more motivated, which I don't feel at the moment. Been a hard and hot couple of days since coming back from Burkina.

New Pictures on Picasa, but didn't bring all the ones I wanted to upload from Gaya so only a sampling of the photographical goodness that awaits y'all.

From Early 2009 Randomness

Teaching some girls at student government elections to arm wrestle


UPDATE 10-12-09

Finally got the pictures uploaded to Picasa (or at least most of them). Here are some of the 'mugshots' I took of students at one of the colleges in Gaya. Nigeriennes generally don't like to smile, but it's amazing what "Say Cheese" will get you:

From Early 2009 Randomness

From Early 2009 Randomness

From Early 2009 Randomness

From Early 2009 Randomness

From Early 2009 Randomness

Preparing to leave... only to come back... then leave again

First of all, I think it's time to openly acknowledge here what most of you already know.... I'm leaving Niger in just under a month. I'll be leaving Peace Corps Niger to go live with my lovely fiance Kelsey in Kuwait. After much soul searching and rough spots over the last couple months (including watching someone die and thinking 'that could have been me'), I've come to understand that life is short and you have to spend it with the ones you love. Of course, being the obsesive type I am about finsihing something (ever see me play a video game for HOURS until I've beat it? Or write a paper in the same manner?), I've struggled much with leaving here and still not feeling like I'm quitting and leaving without accomplishing anything. Tough couple months of mental tug-a-war.

But in the end, Kelsey means more to me than single handedly developing the educational system of Niger and so I will be bowing out of here all too soon. I did however, plan this all in the mind set that by this time I would have all my projects nicely tied up and all my ducks in a row. Being Niger, I should have know this was a little over-optimistic, even with my original December schedule and its one month grace period:

Projects done end of Jan.
Wrap up Nigerien life (including project over-runs) in Feb.
Off to Kuwait beginging of March.

Then we had the revised schedule after christmas:
Finsih projects by middle of Feb;
Wrap up Nigerien life by mid-March
Kuwait on March 18th

Now I'm glad I pushed back my original departure from March 4th cause my schedule now looks like:

FINISH projects sometime(?)
Get the hell out of Africa on March 18th!

It's been a trying couple of months waiting for people around here to realise as I did that time was quickly slipping away from us. Even telling everyone in December that I would be leaving in March, West African International Time (or WAIT, cute accronym eh?), dictates that people take their time until I bang their head on a table and yell "I'm leaving next week! Are we doing this or not?!?" In which case they say "Of course, it's all going to happen, Incha Allah" Translation: It MAY happen if God deems it should. Translation: No promises. A little frustrating a times if you're trying to work with deadlines. Which, by the way, is rule number one working in Africa - don't expect deadlines to be meet. 2010 World Cup anyone?

But I digress into a rant that I will save for another post about the generalities of Africa and development.... something I've already started writting but am not ready to internet-publish. -Instead I ad-lib at the Cyber Cafe in Gaya; blog improvosation-

So everyone here knows I'm leaving, including Peace Corps staff. Also, everyone is supporting the decision, including Peace Corps staff. Mary, our country director, who has had a mixed bag on volunteer relationships was great; friendly, caring, and helpful when I told her. Thanks Mary! (if you ever read our posts)

Anyway, it's not like this is a surprise around here and so I started trying to wrap this stuff up months ago to differing results. MY student government has gone off extremely well. Last week we had elections in one of the two schools and this week we have them in the other. It's great to see the kids so exctied about something like that. I'll post pictures and video when I run across a better internet connection. So THAT has been great and provided good end of service uplifting moments.

However, these books.... where to begin?

The community contribution part, which is to represent 25% of the total budget, has NOT been met. In planning with people here we put that down as to be met by students at the two targeted schools, each one bringing about a dollar. This didn't happen. Only about a third of the students provided their money. It's a sad statement on where people's priorities lie here that they are unwilling to provide a dollar to improve their child's educational opportunities. I also blame the directors for not making a bigger deal of it. But, beyond the depressingness of that thought, I've found a way to raise the money by taking the books not yet payed for in community funds and offering them to CEGs in the entire commune of Gaya, that's 14 more schools that will recieve an average of 44 books per school, so in the end I'm happier with that utcome than just giving the advantage to two already pretty well funded schools; well funded compared to bush schools around here that is.

The problem has been organizing this, where having my inspector (superintendent) come down with Malaria among the time factor of Niger (WAIT) has taken a couple of precious weeks. The books are ready. They're at my house getting dusty and waiting for money to come in for them. So things should finish up fine, though my schedule now looks like:

Feb 28th leave Gaya for Burkina Film festival, this was my original never to come back to gaya date but....
Mar 12th - 14th back in Gaya cause you have to hold someone's hand to get them to do something and I have to have receipts for the book money
Mar 18th fly out of Niamey.

Kala suru. Have Patience.

Just ranting this all out, mostly so that y'all who were gracious enough to donate know what's going on: It's frustratingly slow, but the books will find their way into needy hands.

So now a note on a practical issue: Don't send any more letters or packages! I won't be here when they arrive. You can get me in Kuwait and I'll get the address for that later.

Here at the internet with one of my buddies. Sad to be wrapping everything up, saying goodbye to people. A couple of times I've started to get really sad. This would've happened eventually, but leaving six months early, while not a LOT of time, means I'm leaving alone while my friends continue on until September. That makes it hard, sying goodbye here in Gaya AND to my American Peace Corps friends, some who I won't see in person again. But all life requires sacrifices and for Kelsey I can gladly miss a couple goodbyes.

Now if I can just get things wrapped up with work.

Sorry Mo about this being another work post, but it has some other stuff in it as well.

Next time: Philosophic wanderings on Africa, the Big Man complex, and Development.

Incha Allah

Three stories

So talking to The Mo a couple weeks ago she told me I need to write more about the people in Niger, that my earlier posts were far more interesting than work this work that. I can understand that, I've grown quite accustomed to life here and what used to strike me as odd, funny, or just plain wrong now seems familiar and in its place. So without further ado here are three stories of people in Niger, the first is supposed to be funny, the second is sad, and last is about the two sides of Niger.

1) My first saturday back in Gaya after this last trip found me sleeping in and enjoying the cool morning. It's been almost cold here at night and in the mornings till about 10 or 11. What I consider cool though is definately a relative term since I see people here in parkas and a Seattle-ite would be wearing shorts and a tee-shirt.

So I'm sleeping in.... I sleep outside on the front porch. I like sleeping outside, but it's especially nice this time of year when I can get that 'I would be cold but for this warm blanket feeling,' very luch a rarity around these parts. It's maybe 830, definately LATE as a Nigerien day goes. I'm not asleep, not quite awake yet when I look up and see a NIgerien boy looking at me from the space between my concession wall and the side of my house. Does this surprise me? Not at all. Initial thoughts: oh he's gonna think I'm so lazy still in bed a 830.

Now it's no surprise since this little passage that runs behind my house was for quite a while when I first moved in a sort of highway for children and my neighbors who were interested in the Anasara. IT's been closed for a while though and so my mind slowly clicks into zarma mode and I can ask how he got in. "I climbed the wall." It's a seven foot wall, that's some effort. What does he want "Have you seen our ball? We kicked it over the wall." No I haven't. I show him out, me just wearing a pair of shorts and the women across the way get a good laugh at my pale shade as I let him out through the front gate.

9 O'clock and I'm up, I'm drinking coffee and a ball sails over and almost lands in my cup. That was quite the hang time, but I guess I finally found it. This time he comes to the front gate instead of scaling the wall.

Moral of the story: waking up to strange children in your concession staring at you is not weird. Sleeping in to 830 is.

2) I take the bus from Niamey to Gaya. It takes about 6 hours. It used to be just 4 but the road has become so bad between Gaya and Dosso as to be almost impassable but at a snail's pace. It's 230 and we're getting on the bus. As my name is called and I make my way through the mob trying to push it's way on I notice that all the seats are taken. What's left are the 'seats' that folddown in between the real seats in the aisle. Usually they're broken, but that's ok cause you end up sitting on other people's stuff anyway - there's not much of a trunk and lots of bagage.

A woman tells me to take the one in the very front, but the driver says no it's for another person. No skin off my nose I start heading to the back. This woman though is somehow offended and her and the driver get into it. Long argument short the driver refuses to drive us if this woman is in the bus. Maybe ten or fifteen minutes pass with this inpass until another driver agrees to take us.

Finally on the road, I'm well engrossed in The Economist from some months back (but NEW by our standards!!!) when I look up as people around me start yelling. We had started to pass a bigger bus, ours being of the 30 person 'short-bus' variety, on the left and suddenly this big behemoth of a bus starts veering into our lane. It's inevitable and I watch as brakes squeel and then BOOM the front windshield seems to explode as we take a good angled crash into the bus's left side just under the driver's window. Lucky for us all the bus had safety glass for a windshield and it's just dust and things from the dash that fly back, but it's still quite a shock. The bigger bus pushes us across the median and into the oncoming lanes of traffic. My heart jumped into my throat as I thought of a head on collision. But lucky for us there was no traffic and we come to a rest, for the most part unscathed.

That doesn't stop the pandamonium that broke lose as soon as me struck the other bus though. Children screaming, woman pushing to get out, people jumping out the window. I tried to apeal for calm "We're ok, we're ok" I'm saying, "we've stopped" and finally as the driver and others say the same people calm down and start to file out through the driver's door. I let others go by. I want to collect my things, and myself, a bit before getting out.

I looked back then out our back window and saw a crowd gathering in the road where we jumped the median. I saw the crowd and on the ground between the feet of on lookers I see a pair of legs bruised and broken. I thought of lumpy mashed potatoes and I knew right away that the owner of those legs hadn't a chance as we came across the road onto her side. I hope she never saw us coming. The blink of an eye and that was that.

I got out. I stood there. I texted Kelsey to tell her I loved her, I'm ok. I asked who she was. She was just a girl on her, maybe 14 or 15 on her way to set up the place where her and her mother sell fried millet balls or some such snack. The coast was clear on her side of the street and now it's just her body being scooped up and taken away to the hospital in the first passing car and her scattered stuff being gathered together by those standing there, a sad collection of her head scarf, flip-flops, cooking pot and broken stool with small spatters of blood that wouldn't be very obvious if I hadn't know to look for them.

People are upset, but there's no police, no ambulance, with her removed, it's just two banged up busses. People move on quickly here, death is still all too familiar. Makes you think how quick something like that could happen. I cross the street just like her many times a day in Niamey.

But it's not a quick enough moving on for the woman who caused the argument with the driver. She's berated and yelled at that this is her fault, she should have just let it go. She yells back and soon I think nobody remembers what happened because of the accident, they're just concerned about who caused it.

3) A Tale of Two Nigers

So this story has a lot to do with my work (sorry Mom) but at the same time I think it speaks a lot as to some characterstics of Niger and development in Africa.

I spent yesterday morning and this morning as well speaking to the students in our CEGs, that's middle school, about the need for them to bring in their money for the English textbooks. I had a great time talking to the kids at both schools, they really open up and enjoy it when someone stands before them and doesn't just talk AT them; but engages. However, between the two schools there's a big difference in the directors that I'd like to talk about and that highlights the two paths laid out before Niger.

CEG I-
The director is shady. I think that's the most apt description. He's unkempt, smokes in his office, oversees crumbling old school complex where broken tables litter the area. He tries to speak over anyone who is talking and just keeps getting louder and LOUDER till the other person gives up. I have no doubt he would skim off the top of any project aimed at helping his students. How do I know? Every time I suggest something to him the first question is always "What's in it for me?" He tells students that Niger is the most uneducated and backwards country in the world; well he litterly yells it at them. The fact is itself debatable, but non the less why rub it in the faces of students, making them feel ashamed of their country. Excuse the french, but he's all around an ass-hole and I hate having to work with him.
Now take as counterpoint the director of CEG II. He's great. He's always clean cut, wearing nice suits you could only buy in Niamey or elsewhere, talks TO the kids not AT them, doesn't yell or belittle them or try to intimidate them into accepting his autority. He's funny, inviting, and eager to do all he can to improve the status of his newly (2006) constructed school, which is well keep and clean. Three more cement classes to come next year to replace some of the temporary milet stock ones!
CEG I is what holds Niger back; corrupt, suffering from mismanagement and major Big Man complex, no thought for up keep, just ask the next white person to buy you new stuff when what you have, and don't take of, breaks.
CEG II is the bright future possible, where Nigerians take the responsibility for their own destiny and foreigners are just a source of help, but not relied upon. It's the totally welcoming part of the culture I love.
Talking to the Inspector (superintendant) here this afternoon about that dicotomy confirmed that even Nigerians can see their country in these two lights. He doesn't trust the director at CEG I either, told me without a doubt he would steal, but that he's not the only one, it's a cultural thing. They're raised thinking it's ok to take a small piece of the pie. There's a struggle going on in Africa right now over its identity. As my inspector said, Africa is a a place of Big Men and strong central powers where people are, if not happy, very willing to give power to others and just keep their heads down. One cannot see democracy here as they do in the US. We talked much about how there is definately a struggle to find new indetities for Africans and african society which balances the old and new; a balance between strong protectors, benefactors, and even oppressors, and the new wave of people demanding more freedom and rights and democracy. It's not an easy thing to do. See: Kenya, Zimbabwe... but also Ghana where democracy scored big this year. I want to expand on this idea in another post, to describe more the concept of Big Men and the willingness to give away power to strong central governments, even ruthless ones, but for now I have to go. I've written enough for now and have a friend visiting who just told me he's arrived in Gaya.

Assalam Alaykum

For Real This Time

No website glitches, I've talked to a real person who oversees the funding process and my project is now FULLY FUNDED and I should have a check in about three weeks (As the money works its way through the maze of Peace Corps Headquarters in DC). I'm in Niamey right now, in transit to Gaya tomorrow, and using my time here get quotes from book stores and confirm they can get their hands on 900 books.

It's definitely a relief to know that the US side of the money is no longer a question, now if I could just get my students to bring in their contribution (like 75 cents a piece), but that's always a factor of parents seeing the money as a waste because it's for school or as a benefit because it's for school. Too much of the old, "What's school good for?" mentality hangs around with the older people. That's changing though and this donation should help to motivate even more young people to continue their education and to think it important to education their own children.

Paris for the holidays was great. Cold, but nice to be cold really after two years of HOT.

Though it's late, in celebration of being back in Africa, here's a quick pictorial rundown of my Tabaski (Eid in Arabic), the Muslim feast in memory of when Abraham (Ibrahim) was going to sacrifice his son because God told him to and then God stayed his hand at the last moment, proving Abraham(Ibrahim)'s devotion. To celebrate Muslims kill and feast on sheep (in place of Abraham's son). It's a straight up story from the bible. And I bet some of you never knew that Islam and Christianity had so much in common. This year, the celebration fell on the 10 of December.

Anyway, on a more worldly level, it's always an interesting process for me here to see food go from "baaa!!!" to "yum" in just a few short hours. Last year's thanksgiving turkey for example, but this year I bought a goat, name of Billy, and we had him for Tabaski (And for days afterward as well, sheep meat makes good sandwiches). Due to the graphic nature, viewer discretion is advised.


Meet Billy, he's your average male goat of indetermiable age. I bought him for 20000CFA, or 40 bucks.


Don't look Billy!!! (You're next)


Goodbye, God Bless, Irikoy ma Halesi, Asalam Alaykum....


A small cut, and air blown into it, helps to seperate the skin from the muscles


Then the skin's taken off and can become a prayer rug if it's in good shape


Then the insides are taken out. But don't worry, we'll eat this too!


Yum! Guts, Liver, Lungs, and Heart, my favorites!



Billy gets himself stretched and ready for cooking


Head and hoofs.... which will ALSO be eaten, but are cooked directly in the flame for that charred flavor.


At this point Billy started to smell really good. I was getting hungry!


And, after two hours of cooking, we're ready to eat!

Family Album (though since I'm terrible at names and only know two of them I won't try, but these are my buddy Ousmanne's kids)










Ousmanne and his lizard he's fattening up (to, ofcourse, eat)


Well that's about it for now. Off to see some people about some books.

Oh, and I added more christmas pictures to my Picasa page if you're interested.